When All Else Is Lost You'll Still Have Me
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: An AU SQ oneshot set after Cora's death wherein Emma reaches out to Regina in the wake of her mother's death.


_An AU SQ oneshot set after Cora's death wherein Emma reaches out to Regina in the wake of her mother's death._

_I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. This is just a oneshot that popped into my head. Hope you enjoy :) _

Emma can sit in the apartment no longer. Her mother is curled up in her bed refusing to speak to or see anyone. It's hard to feel sorry for her when all Emma can think of is another woman across town who just lost her mother in utterly heartbreaking circumstances.

Emma was horrified that Regina went to work with Cora but she understands why. Her time in the system means she understands the feeling of not being enough and being desperate to finally be enough. When Regina agreed to her mother's way of doing things Cora's option seemed to be the only way, it was a way for Regina to do right in Cora's eyes and finally get the approval she had searched for for so long.

It's screwed up and it makes Emma's heart ache but she can understand it. It's that understanding that makes her want to find Regina and offer her comfort. She doesn't know if Regina will even accept it but Emma knows what it's like to suffer alone and she wants the other woman to know she is not completely alone in the world.

Sometimes it's all you need to pull yourself from darkness.

Emma doesn't want Regina to fall back into darkness and she knows that now more than ever that it will be oh so tempting to go back. She knows how hard Regina has worked to try and stay good and redeem herself and she is also aware that it is not an easy path to walk alone.

She doesn't see why Regina should have to.

Everyone is clamouring after Snow, coddling her and trying to make her feel better. When she went out this morning everyone was asking after Snow and wondering how she was coping with killing Cora. Not a single soul thought to consider how Regina might be coping with the loss of the one person who was there for her – even if Cora wasn't there in the right ways.

She grabs her coat and the motion causes Charming and Henry to turn to her. "Where are you going?" Henry asks.

"To find Regina."

"Good idea. She might be plotting something," Charming says.

Henry frowns, "Why would she be plotting something?"

Emma sighs before walking over to her young son, "Do you remember Cora being in town?"

Henry nods, "Yeah and you fought her yesterday."

"Well in that fight Snow cursed Cora's heart and manipulated Regina into putting it back in her mother. Cora died Henry."

"So Mom just lost her mother? And it's Snow's fault?" his young eyes fill with confusion, "But Snow's meant to be good."

Emma sighs again, "Henry I think you know that it's not always that simple. Your Mom has done terrible things but she's also capable of good when she believes in herself and when others do to. On the flip side of that it also means that good people are capable of doing bad things as well. Snow, well she thought she was protecting us. She just took a dark path to get there. She's still your Grandma and it's okay to love her just like it's okay to love your Mom."

"What if Mom tries to hurt Grandma?"

Emma sighs deeply wishing Henry could believe in Regina the way she does. "Kid you can't keep thinking the worst about your Mom all the time. She needs your faith Henry. Right now she probably feels all alone in the world so she needs to know she isn't. She's family Henry and she needs us to believe in her."

He chews his lip, deep in thought for a moment before replying, "I wish I could believe in her like you do Ma. Why do you always defend her anyway?"

Emma frowns at her son, "Because I believe in her. You know what kid stay here. Your Mom needs people who will be there to support her not judge her. When you're ready to be her family let me know."

"What?" Henry asks stunned by her siding with Regina over him. "You're just gonna go? What about Snow?"

"What about her?"

Charming frowns, "Emma, Regina is the evil queen. Snow is your mother and she needs my help."

"No. Snow made a crappy decision and she needs to learn to live with it. The only person who can bring her out of this is her. Regina on the other hand just lost her mother and could do with some support right now."

She doesn't wait for them to argue further. She simply grabs her coat and leaves in search of Regina.

* * *

><p>Tears build in Regina's eyes as she storms into the vault. She doesn't even know what she's looking for. She just needs something, anything to put an end to this loneliness and despair. It feels a lot like madness.<p>

_You would have been enough. _

But why wasn't she enough to begin with? Why is she never enough?

She thought she could have had what she had craved for so long – a mother who actually loved her. Snow let her believe she could finally live that dream. She should have known better but she didn't. She let herself get caught up on a what if. The very possibility of hope and having a family was there and she let it take over. She let herself hope and like the little girl she was many years ago she wondered if perhaps she could have the mother she always wished for.

It was a dream that will never come to pass.

Her mother loved her in her own way – a bad way and a way that was so corrupted by power and heartlessness that it could never truly be shown.

For two seconds she was enough. Cora smiled at her so brightly that Regina thought perhaps she was dreaming. Then reality came crashing down and like all moments of happiness in her life it fell to pieces. Her mother gasped and suddenly she was falling and dying and then just gone.

She's all alone now and she can't help but wonder whether or not this is her fate. Everyone she loves leaves her. Why would her mother be any different?

Regina doesn't know what she would have done had they succeeded and actually killed Rumple. She knows what her mother wanted. For Cora it was all about power and a little part of her was glad they failed. Her mother was cruel enough. Regina dreads to think what she would have been like consumed with the power of the dark one.

She doesn't know what would have happened but she knows she would never have been enough. Cora becoming the Dark One would have destroyed any last sliver of hope.

Regina also didn't truly want to hurt the two idiots or Emma. Henry would never have forgiven her or wanted to stay with her if she had – not that it matters. He's gone too. Another love lost. Another reminder that she had love only for it to disappear too. She wants him back. She wants him back so badly. She just doesn't know how that's going to happen. No matter how hard she tries she's never enough – not even for her son.

More tears fall down her cheeks as she enters the cold empty vault. It's full of her mother's possessions. It's full of reminders of loss and pain and it all hurts. She just wants the pain to stop. Everywhere she goes she's reminded of how alone she is.

The mansion echoes with the loss of her son.

The town ebbs and flows around her either ignoring her or glaring at her with distrust.

The vault is haunted by lies and loss.

Throughout all these places there is only one constant that she is alone and no-one cares.

For a short while Emma cared but she went away too. She took Henry and fled to New York. She let Cora's ruses fool her and stopped believing in her. She turned on her like everyone else except unlike everyone else it caused an ache in her heart. Since the day Emma kickstarted her magic Regina had thought and thought and she knew what it meant. She knows what it means regarding her feelings for Emma. With her gone she wished she didn't. With her here she wished it too because seeing her only reminded her that she was still alone.

_Never enough. _

_Never enough. _

_Never enough._

The words taunt her over and over and she tugs at her own hair in frustration. She just wants it to stop. She screams out in sorrow and desperation before knocking over a chest of drawers. It's fleeting but for a moment as the chest thuds to the ground she feels a moment of relief. She vents her frustration on the room tearing through her mother's things. She lets herself focus on tossing things to the ground and disrupting the neat and tidy order of the objects that seemed to only taunt her further.

She sobs as she does so but it's cathartic. She vents her misery, frustration and sorrow until she grabs for her mother's dress. It's the blue one. Her mother's favourite and seeing it brings back a rush of memories. Cora taunting her. Cora ridiculing her. Cora's cruelty. Cora. Cora. Cora. All images of pain and misery reminding her of the mother she never had and now never will.

She screams again as she grabs at that dress tugging it to the ground before tearing it. A loud rip echoes through the vault and Regina falls to the ground holding it. Hearing that rip and feeling the fabric come apart in her arms brings her back to reality.

She feels hollow and empty and now she's destroyed one of the few things she has left of her mother. She sobs into the dress as she holds it. _Never enough_ her brain reminds her. She thinks of being the clumsy child who tore her mother's dress and how she was scolded and punished. "I'm sorry Mama," she whispers as she holds the dress close. It has a faint smell of her mother and for a moment she pretends her mother was the kind who would soothe and not hurt.

The dress and that fantasy is what she clings to amidst a sea of loss and loneliness.

* * *

><p>Regina doesn't hear the footsteps coming down the stairs. Even if she did she pays it no mind. No-one cares anyone. She has no-one and nothing left. Nothing to hold onto but a ripped dress and a broken heart.<p>

Emma can hear the sobs echoing through the vault before she walks down the stairs and each one sends an ache through her heart. She gasps when she enters the vault seeing the room in a state of chaos. It's a scene she knows too. It tells her of pain and frustration and simply taking it out on whatever is closest.

She doesn't focus on the carnage though. She doesn't see the broken cabinets or strewn jewels or potions. Her gaze locks on Regina sitting in the middle of the floor. The other woman hasn't noticed her yet. Regina sits cross-legged on the ground holding a blue dress and sobbing into it whilst whispering. Emma can't tell what yet. She walks forward and then hears the haunted words.

"I'm sorry mother."

A tear rolls down Emma's cheek at those words and she moves to sit down besides Regina. She doesn't want to startle the other woman so she moves quietly before tentatively reaching a hand out to place on Regina's knee.

At the sudden touch of another Regina jumps before looking up to see Emma. She sniffs hurriedly wiping away her tears ready for a confrontation or an accusation. "What do you want?" It doesn't come out stern. It comes out broken and chokes on the weight of her tears.

Emma frowns, "I came to see how you are."

"Or to see if I'm plotting something," Regina replies. She knows what people will think. With her they always think the same. They will all assume that she is out for revenge against Snow. Right now she isn't thinking about that. All she wants is someone, anyone to love her. She just wants to be enough.

"No," Emma says and Regina looks up in surprise, "You don't think that?"

"I don't," Emma replies. She moves her hand from Regina's knee to reach for her hand. Regina lets Emma place her hand over the top of her own but doesn't let go of the dress.

"Why not?" Regina asks looking into caring blue eyes. She searches them but there's no trace of accusation or anger, just sorrow and understanding.

"Because I believe in you," Emma answers simply.

Regina scoffs, "You didn't before."

"I did. I believed in your goodness and the strength of your heart. I believed in how much you wanted to change and your love for Henry. I still believe those things. I just let myself be blinded to that belief in the wrong moment and it screwed everything up. For what it's worth I'm sorry I didn't believe in you. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough and that I let you down."

"Everyone does in the end," Regina says quietly but Emma catches it anyway.

"Not everyone. I know I did but I'm trying. I won't let you down again."

"You can't promise that."

"I can try," Emma says. "What's with the dress?"

Regina frowns before sniffing back another sob. A tear rolls down her cheek and onto the ruined fabric regardless. "I ripped it."

"I can see that."

"It was hers."

Emma nods in understanding, "Oh," she says quietly, "We can fix it."

"We?" Regina questions.

"We," Emma confirms, "I meant it Regina. I want to help."

"Mending a torn dress won't fix anything," Regina says, "I'll still be all alone. Henry will be with you and your parents. He'll still hate me. The town will still ignore me. Daniel will still be dead. So will my father. Your mother will still have manipulated me into killing my own. Sooner or later you'll go to. You offer me support now but you'll go. I'm destined to be alone Emma."

Emma shakes her head, "You're wrong. You've lost a lot. You've lost more than most people do in a lifetime but you're strong and you keep fighting. Trust in your heart Regina. It's strong enough to keep you going and one day you'll have a happy ending."

"That doesn't seem possible."

"And I thought I would always be a friendless orphan yet here I am now with parents, a son, friends and roots."

"You're the Saviour. You will always be enough for them Emma. Don't you see that? You will always be what they need whereas I will always be the evil queen. No matter what I do it won't be enough to change that."

"Not for everyone. I can't speak for anyone else, though I wish they would open up their eyes to the possibility that you can change, but I can speak for me. Regina, to me you are enough."

"Words, words, words," Regina says dismissively.

"No," Emma replies before tucking a finger beneath Regina's chin and turning her to face her. She looks deep into tear filled caramel eyes, "Regina these aren't just words. You aren't the evil queen to me, you're Regina. That's enough for me. You're not alone Regina. You don't have to be alone."

"That's easy to say," Regina says as she leans into Emma's gentle touch. She's trying to push Emma away before the other woman can reject her but it's not working. She's been alone for so long and finally someone cares, not just anybody but Emma.

"Well then I'll promise you it now and prove it. Regina when all else is lost you'll still have me. You'll always have me and you'll always be enough for me."

"Even now?"

"Especially now and whenever you want or need me to be." Emma promises. She wipes a tear away from Regina's cheek with her thumb, "I know what it's like to suffer alone and you don't have to anymore."

"What about your mother? Surely you should be by her side like everyone else?"

Emma shakes her head, "She has everyone else around her and the only one who can save her is her. You can save yourself too Regina and I know that but it doesn't mean you have to do it alone. I believe in you Regina and I want to support you. I love my mother but it doesn't mean I have to like what she did. It doesn't mean I have to coddle her like everyone else."

"And are you not coddling me?"

"No," Emma says, "I'm reaching out to someone who needs it and letting them know that even though they have the strength to fight alone they don't always have to."

Regina smiles. It's small but it's there. "Don't break your promise."

"Never," Emma replies squeezing the hand in her own.

_Thanks for reading :)_


End file.
